From the time they are babies, your kids see you checking Facebook from your phone, posting photos to Instagram on your tablet and finding great recipes on Pinterest from your laptop. It’s only natural that they want to be part of the great online world of social media. But to make sure your kids are properly prepared for the digital world, check out the following tips:
Start Talking to Them Early
You don’t have to wait until your kids are opinionated tweens to discuss what to do and not to do online. OnGuardOnline.gov advises that as soon as your kiddo starts to use a tablet or computer to play games or text grandma is the time to start talking about online safety and appropriate behavior.
Communicate Your Values Often
Online safety is not a topic that can be covered in a quick chat over ice cream cones. Instead, plan on talking about your rules, values and concerns over the course of many talks. Let your kids know that you will listen to them and their feelings about online activity without judging them. Look for opportunities to bring up the topic naturally, too. For example, if you are watching a show together where one of the young characters opens up a social media account without her parents knowing, you can talk to your children about the character’s online safety.
Over the course of several conversations, discuss important and heavy issues, including inappropriate contact, cyber bullying and identity theft. Explain that the sad reality is that not everyone online is nice. You also should mention what is appropriate for them to see and do online as well as what they need to avoid. For instance, if they are watching a video that contains foul language, they should exit out of it immediately.
Teach Them About Malware
In addition to talking about unsavory people who lurk online, it’s important to go over digital attackers, such as viruses, worms, spyware and Trojan Horses. LifeLock explains that a great way to combat malware is by installing antivirus software and frequently updating applications and operating system software.
Because kids are are more prone to opening attachments from unknown sources that promise a free game upgrade or funny video, you need to explain that doing so may result in a virus attacking their computer. Tell them that they should never open any attachment without asking you first and that they need to exit out of all pop-up ads. Show them what the antivirus software alerts look like, and ask them to tell you when they show up, so you can check them out together.
Discuss Appropriate Behavior
Before you let your child open his or her first social media account, have a serious talk about kind and appropriate behavior. The Guardian suggests telling your kids that if they wouldn’t do something in person, they shouldn’t do it online, such as saying something mean to an acquaintance from school. Tell your tweens that they should imagine their beloved grandma is standing right behind them watching what they are doing on social media, and if she is happy with what they are posting or watching, then it’s okay. Also, it’s important to teach your kids about the permanence of the Internet and how all posts (even if they are deleted) remain in the digital world forever.
If you haven’t seen the social media experiment video that has gone viral by now, it’s about time you view it and share it.
(Kudos to Colby Persin for addressing an important topic.)
Let’s take some facts. 92% of teens visit the Internet on a daily basis, as a matter of fact, 24% of them said they are go on constantly (according to PEW Research). Parents – this is a reality check – the digital world is not going away.
Another study from PEW Research reveals that 57% of teens have made friends online and 20% have meet their new online friends offline. We can’t fault them for that, social media has been proven, even for parents to be a wealth of support and information for each other. PEW substantiated it in their study Parents and Social Media as 79% of parents agreed they turn to social media to look for support from each other – even if they only know the person virtually.
What has to be a priority and improve, is our communication with our family offline.
The Internet and social media is a wonderful gift, educational tool and a phenomenal way to find support when you need it. However like with all great things, there will always be the dark-side or downside. There will always be those that want to ruin it for others or are simply cruel and evil people. From online trolls to Internet predators to cyber-hackers – they won’t discriminate who they harm.
Let’s discuss the video.
The parents, in my opinion, are a bit aggressive although I understand they are so upset and were scared to death. I don’t believe in fear-based teaching – and sometimes the scared-straight tactics are only short term. (I actually have experience with this in my other life profession).
You can show your emotion calmly, with tears of genuine concern and discuss this horrific incident with compassion and love – and immediately start your digital conversations (that they were probably sorely missing) on a regular basis.
Yes, every parent (hopefully) has that discussion about stranger danger offline and online – but how many times? Today it is about repetition, and hopefully even role playing. It is about have it regularly, because on a daily basis new predators and new cyber-scams are popping up!
Just as common as you ask your child how their day of school was, you need to be asking them how their day online is! After-all – go back to that statistic…. they spend a lot of time in cyber-land!
(BTW – so do parents) and there is nothing wrong with it, but let’s be safe.
What is disturbing is when tweens and teens will lie about their age on social media. This is something parents need to seriously discuss with their children. In a recent McAfee study, 42% of teens create alias profiles. This doesn’t mean all are changing their ages, however it is a high percentage changing their identity. Be an educated parent – learn more about this.
Conversations and thoughts to consider with your teen to increase their social wisdom:
- Never stop your daily/regular conversations about digital life.
- Share your new finds on social media, and ask them what they have to share with you.
- Empower your teen with the understanding it’s okay to click-out of a website or chat-room if they are feeling uncomfortable.
- Have an understanding with your teen, that if they make new friends online, you will always be made aware if you they are taking it offline. Build a strong bond of trust with your teenager.
- Let your teen know that no matter what, you are there for them whenever they are in a difficult situation online. You will never judge them. Drop this comment regularly. They tend to forget.
- Remind them of sexting consequences, this is important since predators will encourage youth to send sexual content before meeting.
I want to re-post conversation starters from Common Sense and Family Dinner Project. You never want to run out of topics to talk about! Remember, whether you are in the car, eating a meal or watching a ball game – there is always time to find out what’s going on in your teen’s digital life.
Device security is incredibly important in today’s world. This is evident when you hear about major companies and celebrities being hacked. Securing your device is necessary if you want to be sure your contacts, texts and data are all safe from unauthorized users should your phone be lost or stolen. Especially if you’re considering buying a phone for your teenager, you need to make sure he or she knows how to be safe. According to Intel’s 2015 security report, 79 percent of children learn about online safety from their parents, while 59 percent learn in school and 33 percent learn from friends. This means you play an important role in keeping your teen’s information safe.
Samsung Galaxy
Teens can be careless and forgetful. You don’t want anyone to have access to your child’s private information if he or she forgets his or her smartphone at school or loses it on the bus. Fortunately, the Galaxy offers several different screen lock options to defend against unauthorized access to the phone. You can use a conventional PIN or the Face Unlock feature, which uses the smartphone’s front-facing camera to compare your child’s face to a stored picture of him or her. While it is a quick way to make sure only your teenager has access to the phone, it is still somewhat unreliable, so be sure to set up a PIN as a backup. As a parent, you also may want access to your teen’s phone, which is another time the PIN comes in handy.
The Galaxy also offers encryption, which keeps the contents of your child’s phone and SIM card safe. Before you encrypt any data, make sure the phone is fully charged as it can take over an hour to secure your data. To start the encryption process, simply head to the Settings menu, then the Security sub-menu and select Encrypt. Don’t interrupt this process while it is encrypting, or you risk losing data.
If your teen’s phone is lost or stolen, the Galaxy’s Remote Control feature helps you track it down, remotely lock it or erase its data. To track a lost phone, you first need to create an account on your provider’s page. Afterward, simply head to the Security menu and configure the Remote Control Options. Again, this option is helpful if your teenager tends to lose his or her belongings.
iPhone 6
The iPhone 6 has many built-in security features that are easy to configure. Just like with the Galaxy, you should start by setting a passcode for your teen’s device by entering the Settings menu and turning the feature on. That security passcode will then be required to change any security features in the future to prevent an unauthorized user from accessing the phone. Be sure to write the passcode down in case your teenager forgets it or you need to get into his or her phone.
From here, you can configure a Touch ID to secure the device. A Touch ID reads your child’s fingerprint from the Home button to unlock his or her phone. It is considered to be one of the most reliable security features on the iPhone 6. To set up a Touch ID, make sure the Home button is clean, and open the Touch ID and Passcode feature in the Settings menu. Enroll your teenager’s fingerprint by having him or her touch the Home button and hold his or her finger there.
Finally, be sure to set up the Find My iPhone feature on the official Apple site to track your teen’s device if it is stolen or lost. The easiest way to compromise your device is to simply misplace it, so be sure to set up this feature before you regret it.
Security is of the utmost important when it comes to your child’s personal information. He or she may not understand how to set up of these features, so be sure to do your research on whatever device you decide to purchase and make it as secure as possible. Make sure your teenager learns the correct ways to protect him or herself online by setting a good example.
I am someone that truly knows the gift of social media. The support it can give you when you are feeling down. The friends you can make and the groups you can join that have common interests.
PEW Research just released their latest study on Social Media, Teens and Friendship. Like adults, teenagers can find support through their online friends.
- 70% of social media-using teens feel better connected to their friends’ feelings through social media.
- 68% of teen social media users have had people on the platforms supporting them through tough or challenging times.
- 83% of teen social media users say social media makes them feel more connected to information about their friends’ lives.
As a reminder, in last month’s PEW Research, Parents and Social Media, they discovered that 79% of parents found support from other parents on social media. Human nature it to help each other, only today we have it through digital lives – at all ages.
In a recent CNN article, Teen Depression and how social media can help or hurt, Dr. Melinda Ring shared how one tween used Instagram as a platform for support and positive messaging to help him and others through adolescent depression.
Oversharing is still an issue that teens struggle with, however it is when friends posted about events or activities that they were not invited to. As expected, this can cause hurt feelings (being left out). The other issue, as with adults, is when teens’ exaggerate (humble braggers) about their lives online, this leads them to make negative comparison to their own life.
- 88% of teen social media users believe people share too much information about themselves on social media.
- 53% of social media-using teens have seen people posting to social media about events to which they were not invited.
- 42% of social media-using teens have had someone post things on social media about them that they cannot change or control.
- 21% of teen social media users report feeling worse about their own life because of what they see from other friends on social media.
Communication is key to all relationships.
It isn’t any different from when we were young and burning up our parent’s phone lines and people would get that dreaded busy signal. Or you were waiting for a call, you would constantly pick up the phone to be sure there was a dial tone. We wanted to stay connected to our friends. It’s no different today.
Teens are fortunate today, there are many ways to stay connected to their friends, but texting is the leader. Honestly, it is definitely a great form of communication especially if you only need a quick question answered.
Don’t be fooled though, according to the PEW Research, 85% of teen still talk to their closest friends on the phone and 19% said they chat with them on a daily basis.
Yes, we can hear a lot of negativity about online activity such as cyberbullying or Internet predators – but as I continue to write about the many positive aspects that the web offers – and the good things people are doing, what kids are doing, teens are doing, what teachers are doing, hopefully someday this will outweigh those trolls and all the Internet hate that continues.
Today almost everyone, not only teenagers, are connected to social media.
A Pew Research Center study found that 92 percent of U.S. teenagers use social networks at least once a day, with 24 percent reporting that they are online “almost constantly.”
Adults love their social media too. According to PEW Research Center study, 74 percent of adults online use social media with Facebook leading by 71 percent.
What is all this social media doing to our health?
Depending on your personality everyone handles their cyber-stress differently. Don’t kid yourself, there is cyber-stress especially when teens start depending on LIKEs for their self-image (esteem) and adults start comparing their lives to their friends lives (or what they are posting online).
Let’s keep in mind this is social media. There will always be those humble-braggers. Yes, people that believe they need to one-up others digitally or lead others to believe that their life is more than it actually is. It’s frustrating since those photo’s can be deceiving, and it makes you reflect on your own life — wondering where you missed the boat. Chances are you didn’t, they are only a perception through what they want you to believe.
It can be more of a struggle for teens. They aren’t mature enough to understand that it’s only social media and it’s not the end of the world.
The number of LIKEs today won’t determine their future.
Limiting social media use can cause FOMO (fear of missing out), however it is important to find the healthy balance and talking with them about their self-worth outside of the cyber-world.
A new study published earlier this month, Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, found that teens using social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for more than two hours per day are more likely to report suicidal thoughts, psychological distress and rate their mental health as poor.
This study also found that teenagers using social media for excessive periods were more likely to say their mental health needs were going unmet and called for public health organizations to do more to engage with young people via such platforms.
The study acknowledged that social media can be a way to combat loneliness and depression, as well as increase self-esteem and social support, like I have witnessed with social media therapy. Chances are this is with more mature teens or people with a better understanding of how we need to use social media.
There was a second recent study, How Facebook Usage is Linked to Depressive Symptoms, found that people feel depressed after excessive use of Facebook because they tend to make negative social comparisons with friends who crop up in their timelines. Again, you need to remember, things are not always what they seem.
There is nothing wrong with social media, it is all about finding the healthy balance and learning that there is fact and fiction. Just because it’s online doesn’t mean it’s true.
Offline parenting is what helps your child/teenager with their online health and wellness. It’s not about one chat, it’s your daily discussions. Check-in with them about how they are feeling about different posts, or if they are struggling with cyber-stress or anxiety. Keep a pulse on their cyber-health offline.
What’s your ringtone? Maybe you have your phone set to silent but you have your notifications popping up so you can see them from the corner of your eye.
Distractions. Many people today live connected to their device (and I am speaking about all ages) not only the youth.
Whether you are having a meal with a friend or sometimes even talking on your phone – you receive a notification of any kind and you are suddenly distracted from your friend, and now focusing on that “bubble alert.”
Is it a text, an email, a voicemail, an email? Have you been waiting all day for it — or is it spam?
Until you find out, you will — for a second that will drive into minutes, most likely suffer from anxiety of needing to know.
Florida State University released a study recently that said:
Just receiving a notification on your cell phone can cause enough of a distraction to impair your ability to focus on a given task. The distraction is comparable to the effects seen when actually using a cell phone to make calls or send text messages.
Now we are speaking about cell phone distractions generally. In reality these distractions are there for a reason, we need to have our alerts to know when we have a call, email, text or otherwise.
However when you are engaged with another person or especially (and this is critical) when you are driving, distractions should be limited if at all. (Ahem, another words – turn-it-off or to silent when you are driving). The fact is it is very easy to be distracted by the bubbles and the flashing lights – never mind the beeps, ding dongs and trendy songs.
Digital distractions can be not only rude to people you are with, they can be potential dangerous.
Recently AT&T released their latest campaign for #ItCanWait. Picture your life. Picture how quickly it can change.
Take 3-minutes to watch this video and share it with ones you love. It’s not only about texting and driving. It’s about your digital distractions. Remember – #ItCanWait.
Thanks to AT&T for sharing this important message.
My colleague and good friend Chris Duque has a phrase I love, #TechnologyDoneRight. He refers to it when we see the kindness and good things that social media and tech has done for many people and kids.
Recently I wrote about how teens reached out with their digital wisdom in helping others. Then we have the organization #iCanHelp Delete Negativity on Social Media which is constantly lifting people up online with simple words of kindness.
There isn’t a shortage of good people in our cyber-world, but we know it can get tainted when they are interrupted by Internet trolls and cyberbullies.
On July 8th, 2015 my day went dark. I lost my best friend. The old cliché, dogs are a man’s best friend, is absolutely true. Anyone with a pet will most likely concur.
Tybee, my golden retriever of 13 years, left this earth last Wednesday. It was one of the saddest days I have faced in a long time.
Every time I saw someone post on Facebook about a loss of a pet or a person, I would always send my condolences. My thought is, it only takes five-seconds to let someone know you are thinking of them in their time of grief.
But it wasn’t until I had to actually post my own status update that I realized just how important that note of sympathy is.
Facebook has a way of making you feel like a rock-star on your birthday and when you face difficult times, it can the best form of therapy by lifting you up through cyber-friendships of genuine heartfelt messages.
The fact is many of us have virtual friends on Facebook we have never meet, and probably never will meet (unless you are Tanja Hollander) however feel we probably know better than most of our blood relatives.
Facebook notifies us on a daily basis when everyone’s birthday is. We drop them a quick note…. “Happy Birthday… Have a fabulous day!” They LIKE the comment and sometimes even respond back with a big THANK YOU!
Let me share with you how important a caring comment on a status update is when you lose a pet (or I would imagine a person).
I was simply overwhelmed with the out pour of support, cyber-hugs, hearts, love, prayers, several copies of the Rainbow Bridge poem, private messages of beautiful notes, people shared with me how they looked forward to pictures and videos I would post of Tybee’s beach days (which I had no idea what an impact he had made on so many digital lives) and more….. I have been sent cards, flowers and one person is even making me a memory box….. These are Facebook friends….. THANK YOU — everyone… It is #TechnologyDoneRight.
The beach was Tybee’s favorite spot and never without a tennis ball.