Your posts on social media matter.
Personal posts can come back to bite prospective employees or even current employees and impact future employability. This can make what your teen is posting on social media have an impact beyond likes or retweets. Just think of all the times your teen has been excited about a social media post getting hundreds of likes or retweets.
Now think of how long that will stay around and who might see it when it’s time to send out resumes or job applications. Will a future employer come across it and use it as a reason to not hire your teen? What anyone posts on social media matters more than they might think.
The number of employers searching social media accounts has increased 500% in the last decade, and [93% of hiring managers] review a candidate’s social profile before making a hiring decision. Drug references, sexually explicit posts, profanity, racist or sexist posts, aggressive or derogatory remarks, or poor communication skills can all negatively impact someone searching for a job. As can a complete absence of an online presence.
While questionable posts may come back to haunt your teen later in life, there are ways teens can use social media to make them stand out to job recruiters or maybe to find the job of a lifetime.
If your teen is volunteering or has made a donation to a charity, encourage them to share it – 65% of job recruiters have reconsidered hiring a candidate after seeing on their social profile that they volunteered or donated to charity.
Along with this, if your teen makes their resume or job application cohesive with their social profiles, they’ll stand out from the crowd. Social media doesn’t have to be feared in the job search. Used strategically and correctly, a job searcher may find the job they’re searching for and stand out from the crowd.
This infographic provided by the team at (Rawhide Boys Ranch) takes a closer look at all the data surrounding the impact of social media on today’s job searchers.
It’s been a very difficult week for many people. I honestly believe that no matter how the election turned out, half of our country would have been upset, however this rage and hatred has reached a level online that I’ve never seen before.
Watching the news feeds have been horrific. Saddening really.
Adults are acting like children. They are calling the Trump voters some very troubling names, some are asking anyone on their friends list if they voted for Trump to literally unfriend them.
If we witnessed our children doing this, I’m confident we would chat with them about kindness and compassion towards each other.
Most importantly, respecting each other’s differences — although we completely understand we don’t agree on everything, we must respect each other. We must learn to be constructive, not combative with each other when we don’t see eye to eye.
Just prior the election, I watched a mini-documentary series by CNN political contributor, Van Jones called The Messy Truth. It was very interesting as he meet and spoke with educated people-women and men and asked them why they were voting for Trump.
I respect people for their opinions of why they are voting for their candidates, as did Mr. Jones, but what broke my heart is when he interviewed mothers that were shunned on social media from their friends when they told people who they were voting for.
This was very common.
People soon realized they had to be, as Kellyanne Conway later said in an interview, “undercover,” if they were going to vote for Trump for fear of being shamed or unfriended by people they did care about.
It was this growing underground of silent people that likely help bring Trump to the finish-line.
Adults acting badly.
Yes, grown-ups unfriending each other because they didn’t agree with who they were voting for, and calling each other names.
What type of example are we setting for our children? I listen as parents struggle with what to say to their kids, both of my children are grown adults — but my son is still having a very hard time. The fact is even before this election, we allowed our social media to be full of discontentment (in my opinion) on both sides. Maybe this is a time in history that we are all going to learn from.
Just because politicians get ugly – it doesn’t mean we have to. Watching and reading some of the trash online (for both sides) hasn’t been a walk in the park – and these were adults posting these images/comments. Can’t we be passionate about a cause without being cruel?
I watched a mother (in The Messy Truth) as she tried to hold back her tears, she said she lost one of her closest friends during this election time.
We thought…..When the election is over – we can go back to our lives. It seems everyone automatically assumed things would go “their” way – like a child having a tantrum, knowing they’d get their prize at the end.
So it’s over and the bullish behavior of some adults has not improved ‘yet’, in some cases, has worsened. Let’s keep in mind — many consider your online social behavior a reflection of your character – don’t allow it to be an ugly one – be someone you are proud of.
How you will help curb this online cruelty?
I know it will take time, but let’s remember to enter social media with compassion towards each other — no matter who’s sitting in the White House.
We are the role-models not only to our children, but to each other.
From the moment they hit the ‘screen’ – #iCANHELP has been changing lives in a positive direction online and off.
They recently announced their latest form of kindness going viral! Don’t miss the 2-minute video at the end, and share it forward. We all can make a difference!
#ICANHELP Bristow Compliments
Bristow Middle School works to improve school culture through a compliments page.
Alexa Negrete and Allison Kim were tired of seeing negativity on their campus. In response, they created Bristow Compliments, an Instagram page where they could anonymously post compliments about students at their campus. They are being featured this week on YouTube as part of ICANHELP’S #digital4good campaign.
“If you send us a picture of yourself, we’ll compliment you,” said Alexa. “But then people started saying, ‘Oh, I want to nominate this person or this person.’ Let’s make this a thing, so now we have compliment for a friend Friday.” Any time during the week people can send in pictures of their friends and a message to go with the photo. On Friday, “We post the picture of the friend along with the message and a compliment them from from us.”
Both Alexa and Allison wanted to stay anonymous. “We’ve been accused of doing it for popularity on several occasions, so we just didn’t want to mislead people into thinking that way,” said Allison.
The page set out to compliment everyone and did not focus on one peer group or one set of students. Alexa and Allyson focused on the little things about each person that made him or her special so that compliments came across as genuine and not generic.
“If we notice people haven’t been complimented in a while,” says Allison, “We will go on a compliment spree and just randomly compliment our followers. It’s crazy how much work it takes to make this for this little video that they play for 15 seconds and they scroll past it that we really put a lot of effort into this account”
“Next year, since we won’t be here, we want the account to keep going,” said Alexa. “It’s made such an impact right now that we are hoping that will continue into the future. So we’ve chosen two 7th graders to give the account to and post updates.” “We’re really excited,” said Allison.
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About: #ICANHELP is a Bay Area-based national nonprofit organization that creates and promotes positive, school-based solutions & interventions to online harassment and bullying. We are a project of the Net Safety Collaborative.
Bristow Middle School is located in Brentwood, CA and is part of the Brentwood Union School District.
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We often are confused between the definitions of rude, mean or if it’s bullying behavior.
Signe Whitson, an internationally recognized speaker and educator, provides insights on the distinctions of these types of behaviors in her latest activity books.
She challenges kids to move to a designated section in the room if the behavior represents bullying, to a different section if the behavior demonstrates meanness, and to a third section if the behavior is considered rude. Allow kids time to discuss why they chose to stand in a particular section, encouraging personal examples and reflection, as appropriate.
Let’s review the definitions:
Children’s author, Trudy Ludwig, uses these definitions:
Rude = Accidentally saying or doing something hurtful.
Rude behaviors include:
- Burping in someone’s face
- Butting in line
- Bragging about making a team
Rude behaviors are usually thoughtless and ill mannered, but not meant to actually hurt someone else.
Mean = Saying or doing something to hurt a person on purpose, once or maybe twice.
The main difference between “rude” and “mean” behavior is that rudeness is usually unplanned. Mean behavior, on the other hand, is done on purpose.
Mean behaviors include:
- Making fun of what someone looks like or what they are wearing
- I don’t like your short hair. You look like a boy.
- Why did you wear that dress?
- Insulting someone’s intelligence or ability
- You’re so stupid.
- You stink at soccer.
- Saying or doing something unkind after a fight with a friend.
- Saying, “I hate you.”
- Taking something that doesn’t belong to you.
Make no mistake; mean behaviors are very hurtful and should be avoided at all times! Still, meanness is different from bullying in important ways that we’ll talk about next.
Bullying = Cruel behavior, done on purpose and repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power.
KEY POINT
To best understand bullying, remember the 3 P’s:
- It is done on Purpose; there is nothing “accidental” or unplanned about bullying
- It is a Pattern; the cruelty happens over and over again
- It is all about Power; the cruel person has more control and influence than his/her target
Kids who bully say or do something purposefully hurtful to others and they keep doing it again and again, with no sense of guilt or shame. Kids who bully have more power than the kids they pick on. This power may come from being older, stronger, or bigger in size or it may come from getting several kids to gang up on one target, to make that target feel hurt and alone.
Order The 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book for Kids and Tweens on Amazon.
Credit: www.michiganschoolshows.com
Bullying has existed since the beginning of time. But today the internet and mobile devices have made bullying even easier. Bullies are no longer limited to just verbal or physical bullying. Text and online bullying have become a serious problem among adolescents and teens.
According to School bullying statistics in the United States:
- About one in four kids in the U.S. are bullied on a regular basis.
- Almost 9 out of 10 teens have a cell phone, and about 1 in 5 will be victims of a text bully. Text bullying has become more common than traditional bullying, especially among girls.
- More than half of adolescents and teens have been bullied online.
- More than 25 percent of adolescents and teens have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones or the Internet.
As part of National Bullying Prevention Month, AT&T has compiled a list of apps designed to help protect children from bullying and to create awareness around the problem.
- KnowBullying – (Android, Apple – FREE) – This app is for parents. It facilitates conversations with your child about bullying by providing conversation starters and reminders to do so. The app also provides tips about bullying for specific age groups and helps parents recognize the warning signs of bullying.
- Smart Limits – (Android, Apple – FREE; monthly service fee of $4.99 for 1 line or $9.99 for up to 10 lines) – This parental controls tool for AT&T customers lets you block up to 30 numbers from unwanted calls and texts. It also lets you limit your child’s phone use during certain times of the day, block cellular data, set text and purchase limits, view daily calling and texting activity on your child’s device, and more.
- STOP!t – (Android, Apple, Windows – FREE; school rate $2 – $5 per student, per year) – The STOP!t is a tool for schools which allows students to report bullying anonymously as it happens. The app also includes a HELPiT button that allows users to talk and text a 24/7 crisis support network.
- BullyBlock – (Android – FREE) – This app captures and block bullies that are causing you and your family harm. The Bully Block app allows users to covertly record verbal threats and harassment, block inappropriate texts and pictures (e.g. sexting), and utilize auto respond features. Bully Block blocks bullies that utilize private or unknown numbers to engage in cyberbullying. Bully Block also has instant reporting features that allow the user to email or text abusive behavior to parents, teachers, HR departments, and law enforcement. All audio, messages, and calls are stored on the phone SD card.
- Bully Tag – (Android, Apple – FREE) – This app allows kids who witness bullying to report it anonymously to school officials in a number of formats. The app can be used to transmit video, audio, texts and pictures. The app also allows students to schedule appointments with the school counselor and gives them access to a help line for kids.
- Bully Stop (Android – FREE) – This app helps protect children from bully calls, texts and picture messages. The app gives your children the ability to block calls and messages from people they don’t want to hear from. Bully Stop uses a Block List to block unwanted callers and texters. The app maintains a password-protected call log of all attempted contact with your child so you can approach the relevant people, parents, teachers or police and show proof of the bullying communication.
- Bully Button – (Android, Apple – $0.99) – This app allows children to record incidents and send them to adults with a single click of a button. The Bully Button messages will be repeatedly sent to the intended recipient until they’re opened.
Courtesy of AT&T.
Disclaimer: I don’t endorse any products on my blog site, nor am I financially compensated for posting them. All products are represented by reputable companies and it’s up to the consumer to make their own decisions on what’s best for their individual needs.
AT&T and Tyler Clementi Foundation Survey 1,000 Teens and Parents
To kick off a new national effort to raise awareness for the issue of cyberbullying, AT&T and Fullscreen, are harnessing the talent of more than 250 high school student filmmakers.
The teen filmmakers participated in the AT&T Film Invitational, a part of this year’s All American High School Film Festival. The AT&T Film Invitational is the first ever to focus on cyberbullying. The 10-week film competition provides high school students the chance to write, direct, shoot and edit an 8 minute film in New York City. Students spend 2 ½ months working on every aspect of their pre-production: script writing, storyboarding, securing actors, locations, etc. AT&T then selects teams to be flown to New York City to direct, shoot and edit their 8-minute films.
The winning films, announced at the Teen Indie Awards in New York City October 9, will be featured in a 20-minute AT&T cyberbullying film for free screening at schools nationwide in February 2017. The film is a concentrated effort by AT&T to educate teens and help end this crisis.
“An astounding 8-in-10 teenagers admit to being cyberbullied, or know someone who has been bullied through social media or text. We know this issue is very real for students, schools and families,” said Marissa Shorenstein, New York State president, AT&T. “And AT&T wants to help.
The following teams’ schools or organizations were selected as the winners of the Cyberbullying Film Invitational:
- Steilacoom High School (Steilacoom, WA) received the award for Best In Contest and a cash prize of $5,000
- Mythic Bridge (Brooklyn, NY) received the award for Runner-Up and a cash prize of $3,500
- Canyon Crest Academy (San Diego, CA) received the award for Second Runner-Up and a cash prize of $2,500
Pine Crest School Filmmaking Team
These teams’ schools or organizations were selected as additional finalists and will each receive a cash prize of $1,000 awarded by the All American High School Film Festival:
- Cedar Crest High School (Lebanon, PA)
- Rye Country Day School (Rye, NY)
- Digital Arts and Cinema Technology High School (Brooklyn, NY)
- Pine Crest School (Fort Lauderdale, FL)
- Science and Leadership Academy (Philadelphia, PA)
Three teams’ schools or organizations were also selected as Superlative Award winners, and won a cash prize of $2,500:
- Grace Church School (New York, NY) received the Made In New York Award, given to a New York City-based filmmaking team
- Communications High School (Wall, NJ) received the Maverick Award for a film with the most “outside the box” creative direction and execution
- Nature Coast Technical High School (Brooksville, FL) received the Heart Award for creating a film embodying the most heartfelt story
Judges also selected the team from Pine Crest School (Fort Lauderdale, FL) to receive a $25,000 deal to create a series on cyberbullying exclusively for Fullscreen, an ad-free subscription service that speaks directly to the social-first generation. All of the winning films will also be available on Fullscreen and AT&T Digital You.
Public voters will determine the winner of the Public Choice Award starting October 11. They will have until October 28 to vote. The winning team receives an additional $5,000 for its school or organization. Head here to vote for your favorite film.
Working with the Tyler Clementi Foundation, AT&T has made addressing the rise of cyberbullying a priority. This support of the All-American High School Film Festival follows a first-of-its-kind poll commissioned with the Tyler Clementi Foundation this past March on cyberbullying.
“This was an amazing weekend with lots of energy, interest and positive messaging around how we can all work together to amplify our voices to end all online and off line bullying. It was so difficult to choose our winners, as every film was terrific and produced with great skill, care and heart. Congratulations to everyone who participated!” said Jane Clementi, Founder and Board Member of the Tyler Clementi Foundation.
In this digital age, teens are faced with more challenges than previous generations. From cyberbullying and online trolls to identity theft and other types of cybercrime, there are ample opportunities for trouble lurking online. Yet, the internet is a major part of our daily lives. To help keep your teen safe online, here are a few strategies:
Educate Yourself
To effectively keep your teen safe online, you need to be informed about all of the possible challenges that he or she may face. Educate yourself on the latest internet dangers and trends in teen internet usage. Know what apps are growing in popularity among teens, how they work and what makes them a hit. Frequently Google “dangerous apps for teens” to get some of the latest news and information.
Learn the lingo that your teen uses, especially in the digital space. From acronyms and catchphrases to app-specific jargon, you need to learn your teen’s online language so you can correctly spot any issues and address them together.
Share Digital Experiences
To connect with your teen and keep the communication channels open, you need to create some common ground. Share digital experiences to show your teen that you care about what he or she is interested in.
Ask your teen to show you how to use Instagram Stories or how to adjust your Facebook settings so you can block certain people from your newsfeed. Learn how to use the latest social media app together. Let your teen flex his or her technological muscles for you. It really is quite incredible how intuitive things are to your teen that may seem complicated to you.
Discuss Online Risks
There are no shortage of possible risks when using the internet and, for the most part, your teen understands this. However, when it comes to knowing what specific practices are risky, your teen’s understanding may be a bit hazy. Therefore, you must offer clear guidance and direction for how to handle a wide range of circumstances.
To help guide this conversation, simply look to the news. Discuss real life examples of cybercrime, online bullying and privacy infringement using the latest news stories. Offer real examples of the threats your teen faces daily and do not sugarcoat the consequences.
Create a Plan for What to Do
Have a clear plan in place so your teen knows what to do if he or she becomes the victim of online harassment or another digital crime. For instance, if your teen uses apps like YikYak and Snapchat where messages disappear shortly after being read, tell your teen to take screenshots of harassing messages to document evidence and avoid “he said, she said” drama when confronting the issue. Show your teen how to take a screenshot on his or her iPhone or Android phone as well as how to block texts and calls from a number.
Teach Your Teen to Advocate for Victims
Just because your teen is fortunate enough to not be the victim of bullying, whether online or in person, doesn’t mean he or she shouldn’t react if others are being victimized. Teach your teen how to advocate for anyone who is being bullied. Your teen can make a positive impact just by standing up to a bully for someone else or simply offering the victim kindness and help. Teens often stand idly by because they simply do not know how to handle such a confrontation, which is why it is so crucial to have an action plan of ways that they can help.
Parent and teen chat offline. It can build a safer online life.
Cyberbullying is a concern for all parents and teens alike. We can’t be with our children 24/7 and the fact is our kids spend more time in cyberspace than they do with us. The most common form of cyberbullying among tweens and teens happens with cell phones. We need to equip them with the knowledge to handle cyberbullies and prevent them from becoming victims.
McAfee’s study of Teens and Screens in 2014 said that cyberbullying had tripled. 24% of tweens and teens lack knowledge on what to do in the event they witness online abuse or are a victim of it.
Cyberbullying Research Center is sending out daily Tweets during the month of October, Bullying Prevention Month under the hashtag #CRCdata, with statistics on their latest research of teens and social media.
According to Cyberbullying Statistics for 2014, 52% of teens report having been a victim of cyberbullying. Sadly, only 1 in 10 victims will tell a parent or trusted adult of their abuse.
According to a National Crime Prevention Council survey, almost 80% of teens said they didn’t have parental rules about their internet usage or found ways around them. Only 11% of teens talked to their parents about incidents of online abuse. By having open and frequent face-to-face chats with your child about digital literacy, internet safety and their cyber-life offline, they are more likely to come to you when they are having issues online.
First we need to understand why tweens and teens don’t tell their parents.
1) Fear of consequences: Your child’s online existence is a critical part of their social life. With all their friends online, being excluded would be devastating them. They don’t want to risk you banning them from their friends and their digital lives.
2) Humiliation and embarrassment: Our kids are human and have feelings. Although some kids portray a tough persona and believe they are invincible, deep down everyone feels hurt by cruel keystrokes. Your child may fear looking stupid or weak. If the incident gets reported to their school, will they be able to face their classmates/peers? Imagine the horror of a child hearing from peers after being bullied that they somehow deserved it, brought it on themselves or should have just toughened it out rather than be a snitch.
3) Fear of making it worse: We have taught our children well so they understand that bullies are looking for attention. By reporting the incident of cyberbullying to a parent, your child may fear it could anger the bully and make matters worse for them online. In some cases bullies will enlist more online trolls to cyber-mob your child. Of course the child’s dreaded fear is his or her parent reporting it to their school and more people knowing whereby they become a possible target in the future.
Building a strong digital relationship with your child:
1) Speak openly about cyberbullying: Communication is key to helping your child understand that you are their advocate not only offline, but online too. Talk to them about cyberbullying prevention and remind them of the basics such as:
- Never engage with online bullies
- Never give out passwords
- Never try to seek revenge on a cyberbully
- How to block bullies
- Save evidence of cyber-bullying, especially if you have to report the bully to a school
2) It is not their fault: Being a victim of a cyberbully is not their fault. Remind them you are not going to judge them or blame them. Assure them that you will not revoke their Internet privileges or take away their phone if they are cyberbullied. As I mentioned earlier, the Internet is an important part of their life so if they feel threatened that it will be removed, they may believe it is easier to be bullied and emotionally tormented. We don’t want them to be feel this way, it is not healthy for anyone to have to tolerate.
3) Listen: Communication is also a two-way street. Be sure you hear what your child is saying. Many victims say what helps most is to be heard — really listened to, either by a friend or an adult who cares. Hopefully that is their parent. Cyberbullying may not be physical, however the emotion scars can be deep. Listening to your child respectfully can start the healing process. Never diminish their feelings and let them know you are their advocate.
4) Role-play: It’s so disturbing when parents wait until we have a tragic headline to sit down and have that tech talk, or ask their teenager to show them that app that’s being featured on the news…. Don’t knock yourself that you may never be as tech savvy as your child, take advantage of it. Ask them to teach you about what they know. In doing this, you can learn more about their online life. Get in the trenches with them – you can learn a lot!
What you look at, share, send, and store on your social media platforms is yours and yours alone—right? When it comes to access by law enforcement, the reality is more complicated.
For starters, it’s important to realize that court cases have accessed data from computers, smart phones, messages, videos, and more. The courts haven’t established a clear line of precedent in order to help law enforcement either.
But law enforcement has requested everything from photographs to medical records through the process of discovery. Discovery is when law enforcement tries to gather information related to a trial to help support their client. What you post on social media may, in fact, be relevant and requested if it’s related to a case.
Right now, what’s expected from courts is a balance between the expectation of privacy and the need to support a case, particularly when it’s specific. This graphic points out some of the key aspects of social media information related to court cases.
The Irony of Privacy Settings: Can Lawyers Use Social Media Posts in a Court of Law?
As someone that has been in a courtroom with many emails and posts from social media sites, I will tell you firsthand, pause before you send anything is a habit you must learn. There is no joy in any court proceedings, whether you are victorious, as I was, or the defendant — the emotional toll it takes on a person is tremendous. Use your cyber-smarts, if you don’t feel good about an email, text, post, or comment — don’t hit send. Wait 24-hours, it’s worth it. No one wants a process-server at their door.
Also read Third Parent’s advice for teens on this topic.
Katherine Pham and Gabriella Mariscal wanted to take storytelling at their school to the next level. Feeling inspired by the work on the Facebook Page Humans of New York, the two High School Seniors created Humans of Loara. With the support of their advisor Paul Chylinski, the students set out to improve their school the use of social media.
“We wanted to share the stories of our students here at Loara,” said Gabriella. “Once we had that idea, we took our idea to Mr. C and he was on board. He has truly been a big impact on our senior year and been a big support and making sure we do what we said we were going to do.”
“It’s crazy how many people we have covered,” said Katherine. To date the page is host to nearly 300 stories of students, staff and alumni.
The goal of the page is to bring you to a more in depth personal understanding of the people that make up Loara High School. People share their successes, struggles and experiences of their time at Loara. Some of the notable stories include a former gang member, Eddie, who went from a straight F student to a straight A student. “These stories give our students a little more inspiration and a little more hope,” says Gabriella.
“They have covered staff, students, alumni and more,” said Paul. “I’m so proud of what these two students accomplished and the impact their work has had on spreading positivity to our campus climate and culture. They posted two photos and two stories every day of the school year on top of their school work and activities, they are committed to their school.”
Loara is looking to expand their work online by establish a website later this year. In addition, they are in the process of adding a YouTube channel called “Voices of Loara.” The school has taken some of the posts and turned them into posters to be placed around campus. This is a model that other schools in the district are following to help spread kindness throughout the school district.
Celebrating Loara High School and their Humans of Loara Project on Instagram and Facebook.
About us: #ICANHELP is a Bay Area-based national nonprofit organization that creates and promotes positive, school-based solutions & interventions to online harassment and bullying. We are a project of the Net Safety Collaborative.
Loara High School is located in Anaheim, CA and is part of the Anaheim Union School District.
